DANG Craving!

Craving. Craving. Craving. What is it? Tortilla soup? But I don't have all the ingredients and don't wanna go to the store. Ok ok Tortilla soup it is. Go to store. Buy ingrediends. Make soup. I should throw cans away in outside garbage since we're showing our house and don't want it to stink...after I eat. Yumm! Craving satisfied. Go to bachelorette party. Come home and get ready for bed alone. Lock all doors. Shut all windows. Double check them all. Get in bed...alone. Frown since Ty is gone to golf tournament in St. George. Zzzzzz. 3:00 am: have to pee. No go back to bed. 5:00 am: REALLY have to pee. Ok ok. Get up and pee. Go back to bed. Close eyes. Creek! What was that?! Get up and lock bedroom door. Quick prayer. Lay there wide eyed...Crack! Ahh! What was that?! It's ok, it's nothing, go back to bed. CREAK! CRACK! SLAM! AHHH!!! THAT WAS NOT NOTHING!!! Should I call Ty? No it's only 5:00 am! Grab gun. BUH-BAM! AHH!! LOAD GUN! One bullet or two? That's it, I'm calling Ty. Wake Ty up at 5:30 am. Tears flying off my face. Daisy at edge of bed listening to noise. Bed shaking like earthquake from my body. "Be brave, you probably just left the window open." I didn't! CREEEK! AAHHH! What do I do?! Call Ty again. Talk to him for half hour. ALMOST call cops. Or neighbors to see if they'd come get me so I can sleep on their couch...no it's 5:30 am. Hear a few more creeks and booms. Lay awake til 7:00. Alarm goes off at 7:50. Ugh, one more hour. Get up. Grab rifle. Walk around house. Open closets, shower curtains, cupboards. Go downstairs. Cans on ground. Dang it, Ty was right, window was open...WAIT! No it's not! What's this next to the doggie door? Fur? From what? A racoon or cat...which one? Examine counter and cans. Cat hair and lick marks on cans. Roll eyes. All that for a dang CAT!....And all I can say is DANG Craving!!